Crabtot is officially 3.
It is finished.
No, it's not. After the festivities at preschool (Mommy brings cupcakes! Let's decorate them with icing! Why aren't the twits eating my cupcakes? Why don't kids seem to actually eat the bloody things?! I just broke my wrist flogging that icing into stiff creamy Nigella-perfection...but WHY?) ...Then there is still the party to come, this weekend, 7 tots in this prefabricated mini-house, where we shall engage in a DANCE PARTY and once again I will be making cupcakes, with Hello Kitty faces!)
Dear God, make it stop.
But the Tot cuteness, oh! I tried to avoid this (see my satirical birthday newsletter at the bloglet) but here goes...a pinch of yumminess to be shared, after all, and in spite of my own crabby self and my blogocratic oath not to be celebratory on here:
Crabtot on her birthday morning, standing at the mirror:
"Look, Mom! My eyes are growing up!"
"I am three. I am three. There is so much threeness..."
Do you not just wish to pinch this poppet? And pluck it? And eat it? On a roll? With mustard?
These are rhetorical questions. Who wouldn't like to devour a delicious Crabtot-cutlet!
ON ANOTHER NOTE
A friend of mine thought to ask me what imitation crab is made of. I of all people should know this. But I don't.
And while I could go and look it up, I feel I'd really rather not. It's more fun to see its ingredients in my mind's eye, a whiteness comprised of equal parts rubber cement and whitefish with a veneer of red real-crab stripy meatstrings applied, and a dash of authentic crab juice spritzed sparingly thereon. It is then molded into a plastic claw shape. And when it has set, false crabjuice is liberally smeared over all.
That's my version of imitation crab. Anyone actually know what this stuff is made of, though? This is a key question for our times, and it must be answered.
I have a blogload of new readers, who I am pretending to ignore and just...you know...do my thing the way I always do, with sauciness and effortless suchlike, but really I am hopping glad that Jezebel and Babble and all that massive Crabmommy-pimping out there is netting me such huge new numbers of hits.
Do peruse, new friends, peruse. I may have been indulgent this September, nattering on about Dollar stores and holding competitions for lip balm and such, but really there is real authentic crabmeat in this here blog. Like, just as a random example, here, and here. Mommy-musings of a dark nature. Ruminations on my rural abode and my citygirl's sense of displacement. And of course, shockingly excellent advice about all things tot-rearing-related. And then, it must be said, there is also the meanness. Indeed the crabbing here is loud and abundant.
All this and monthly contest in which you can win prizes from my Dollar store! Crabmommy: It's just plain old one-stop shopping, innit?
OK, enough, enough! I shall bid you all adieu and for those who have asked, do stay tuned for the next post will feature a photograph of Char's Dollar store prize and also tell the dramatic story of what befell it. Thereafter, some sassy crabby words about daddyblogs...
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Crabtot is officially 3.