Sunday, September 23, 2007

How to Make a Tampon Wiener...At Last!

As you know, Crabmommy adores a cheap craft activity with Crabtot. Well, actually Crabmommy just adores cheapness in general, for she is the Cheapmommy!

As you may also know, Crabmommy was once inspired to make the tampon wiener you see in the icon on the right. You see, Crabtot's Gammy has a white wiener dog named Gertie, so we decided to pay homage to Gertie with, what else?...a tampon!

I have received many requests for instructions on making this tampon wiener, for it is clearly a charming and easy and attractive and CHEAP activity to do with your tot (if I do say so myself). But you also know me as a lazymommy and a technologically-handicapped mommy, so the instructions have been slow in coming. I also visualized the tamp-dog icon on the right spinning on a sort of a rotating cube thing of my many cheapmommy craft designs, and when you click on one, you link through to directions. Alas, my blog template and my utter laziness have prevented this from becoming a reality. Therefore, in longhand, and at long last, and on popular demand...

A Tampon Wiener in 6 Easy Steps:

You will need: 1 tampon, white playdoh (or other color of your choice), matchsticks/pipe cleaners

1. Select a tampon, open it up and pull string to make the wiener body and tail.
2.Model a white playdoh head into a pointy doglike shape and insert cranium-side into tampon tube.
3. Pinch off bits of play-doh and work into shell-like ear-shapes. I must admit, I'm quite good at this. Mold clay onto cranium for dog ears. If this isn't going well, use a matchstick or toddler fork to smooth the ears onto the head firmly.
4. Poke 4 holes in wiener-body undercarriage, wide apart but symmetrical in the manner of sausage-dog legs.
5. Cut matchsticks/pipe cleaner in even lengths (not too long—these dachshunds have short legs, remember!) and insert into the holes. You may have to wiggle to get the angle right for standing.
6. When play-doh is dry, draw eyes and mouth with Sharpie.
*Note: Decorating your dog: you can also add dots or other assorted colorations to the tamp-tube as you see fit. If realism isn't your bag, sequins would be an interesting addition if you are going with a sort of drag-queen glam-dog motif. If you're going to get fancy on the decorating, do it before doing head or legs —right after Step 1, to ensure that tot's chubby fingers don't knock head or legs off in the decorating process.

Presto! Tampon wiener!
If tampon wieners whet your appetite for tampon art in general, you can certainly progress to other tamp-art. I can easily see a sheep...a poodle...some fetching Xmas decorations (especially when dunked in water containing red or green food coloring, and then dried and sprinkled with glitter). Tampons make excellent resources for crafty moms.

Enjoy! And please do report back when you try it.

p.s. a pic of the Dollar store mystery prize (won by Char) is to come. And please stay tuned for more Mommy-related musings of a crabby nature. Meantime, Monday at the bloglet, musings on how I am a Mommy by day but after dark, I become The Night Momster. Also on Wednesday the 26th, please check the bloglet for a sentimental, gushy birthday newsletter to Crabtot...not. This one is going to be controversial, folks. Whooooooooooooooooooo!


Melinda Zook said...

This is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I am definitely going to make one!

L.A. Daddy said...

Something so cute and, yet, so disturbing to me. Which is good. Really. Disturbing. But good.

soundsnice said...

That is perhaps the best thing I have ever seen!

LizB said...

I made these as party favors when I had my hysterectomy shower. Everyone got a big laugh out of them.

dawn224 said...

If you get google searches for tampon and wiener, ya gotta let us know :)

crabmommy said...

Dawn224. I absolutely will. :)

crabmommy said...

And Liz. I can think of no finer place for my tampon wieners to be than at your hysterectomy shower. Brilliant brilliant!! Admin said...

We linked to you (in our description for today's free sample at:

Thanks for the laughs!

kidletsmum said...

Hilarious! I've linked to this from my blog. Now seeking tampons for crafting with my two year old.

Samanthafahrney said...

Hi I really like your blog. I wanted permission to post the tampon weiner instructions on mine. Is that ok. you can leave me a comment on my blog.



Barbi said...

OMG, I can't stop giggling. Too funny. Can I post a link to this on my blog? I really think my mommy blog friends would get a kick out of it.

cathy said...

HAHA! That's great! On a recent trip, my friends son found a tampon and open it completely and used it as a parachute for his G.I. Joes.

I'll make sure to show him this one. (His mom will hate me!! lol)

Anonymous said...

And I thought I was the only one that made tampon animals. My specialty is Tampon mice, little pink ears, black thread for the whiskers, little pink eyes of felt or marker. just fluff the cotton up and you have a mouse. One can even make them Christmas mice with a little felt holly behind the ears. I used to make these and place on the computers of the gals at work as a little surprise. Even asked my son-in-law to to hold one once before he saw what it was..too funny. He held out his hand and SURPRISE...he was holding a tampon.