How to Make a Tampon Wiener...At Last!

As you know, Crabmommy adores a cheap craft activity with Crabtot. Well, actually Crabmommy just adores cheapness in general, for she is the Cheapmommy!

As you may also know, Crabmommy was once inspired to make the tampon wiener you see in the icon on the right. You see, Crabtot's Gammy has a white wiener dog named Gertie, so we decided to pay homage to Gertie with, what else?...a tampon!

I have received many requests for instructions on making this tampon wiener, for it is clearly a charming and easy and attractive and CHEAP activity to do with your tot (if I do say so myself). But you also know me as a lazymommy and a technologically-handicapped mommy, so the instructions have been slow in coming. I also visualized the tamp-dog icon on the right spinning on a sort of a rotating cube thing of my many cheapmommy craft designs, and when you click on one, you link through to directions. Alas, my blog template and my utter laziness have prevented this from becoming a reality. Therefore, in longhand, and at long last, and on popular demand...

A Tampon Wiener in 6 Easy Steps:

You will need: 1 tampon, white playdoh (or other color of your choice), matchsticks/pipe cleaners

Directions:
1. Select a tampon, open it up and pull string to make the wiener body and tail.
2.Model a white playdoh head into a pointy doglike shape and insert cranium-side into tampon tube.
3. Pinch off bits of play-doh and work into shell-like ear-shapes. I must admit, I'm quite good at this. Mold clay onto cranium for dog ears. If this isn't going well, use a matchstick or toddler fork to smooth the ears onto the head firmly.
4. Poke 4 holes in wiener-body undercarriage, wide apart but symmetrical in the manner of sausage-dog legs.
5. Cut matchsticks/pipe cleaner in even lengths (not too long—these dachshunds have short legs, remember!) and insert into the holes. You may have to wiggle to get the angle right for standing.
6. When play-doh is dry, draw eyes and mouth with Sharpie.
*Note: Decorating your dog: you can also add dots or other assorted colorations to the tamp-tube as you see fit. If realism isn't your bag, sequins would be an interesting addition if you are going with a sort of drag-queen glam-dog motif. If you're going to get fancy on the decorating, do it before doing head or legs —right after Step 1, to ensure that tot's chubby fingers don't knock head or legs off in the decorating process.

Presto! Tampon wiener!
If tampon wieners whet your appetite for tampon art in general, you can certainly progress to other tamp-art. I can easily see a sheep...a poodle...some fetching Xmas decorations (especially when dunked in water containing red or green food coloring, and then dried and sprinkled with glitter). Tampons make excellent resources for crafty moms.

Enjoy! And please do report back when you try it.

p.s. a pic of the Dollar store mystery prize (won by Char) is to come. And please stay tuned for more Mommy-related musings of a crabby nature. Meantime, Monday at the bloglet, musings on how I am a Mommy by day but after dark, I become The Night Momster. Also on Wednesday the 26th, please check the bloglet for a sentimental, gushy birthday newsletter to Crabtot...not. This one is going to be controversial, folks. Whooooooooooooooooooo!