Friday, August 24, 2007

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Smith...the Mormons are Coming for Me!

I swore I'd leave the religion thing alone for my next post.

But at crack of dawn this morning, a lovely looking Latter Day Saint was at my door. My usual excuse is "Sorry, I'm Jewish (which is half I'm half-Jewish by birth)...I think Jewish is even more final for Christians than saying "atheist." They tend to leave you alone when you utter the J-word. But this morning, I didn't even go that far. I was half-dressed you see, having just come out of the shower. There I was with wild wet hair, with a dirty little Crabtot at my feet. And I just didn't feel like talking to anyone, much less a Momo mish. So I just shook my head. And she looked at me, smiled, and left.

Late for preschool, I almost backed over another Mormon. Cursing my driving, and the proliferation of the LDSers, I said some sacrilegious things. Crabtot then asked me what a Mormon was. This is not easy so early in the morning. I said a Mormon was a very nice person who wants you to look at their books all the time and Mommy just didn't have time for the Mormons today.

En route to school, she asked "Where did Mormon go?"

And I said, "She's gone to someone else's house."

Returning home I saw a thicket of Mormons on the street, one with an eye patch. They clustered together, evidently checking to see who had gone where and to what house. When I drove into my driveway, I could have sworn they knew who I was: the Crabmommy, Unconvertible.

I can see them even as I type. Up and down the street they go. I wonder if they have been to the rodeo-compound yet and if they have found Aaron in his trailer. He had a party last night. He'll be pretty hungover today. Still, I think the LDSers will like it better on the other side of the street.

7 comments: said...

Don't be afraid of the Mormon's CM. I have them come around for lunch and chat's all the time. They are such nice young men. I am not convertible either, however, when these nice kids come by offering to give me a hand with the yard and share the message I just can't help but invite them in.

They obviously, have me in their little book of friendly people to visit because each new batch always drops by to offer their assistance (either that or my gardening skills suck).

I like their company and most of their conversations are about home and their families. After a couple of visits they usually bring a photo albumn to show me.

Many of them have talents too, one could do some fancy shirt folding trick which I was happy to let him demonstrate on my laundry, another could do back flips, not running and jumping back flips but standing still jump in air and flip backwards (VERY impressive).

I dare you ... invite them in for a sandwich and cold drink. Ask them where they are from, how old they are, where they went to college ... just kids far away from home.

Come on ... you made friends with Aaron! He sounds way more dangerous.

Anonymous said...

MK, Only you could charm a missionary into doing backflips for you when he is meant to telling you about the Angel Moroni. I will take your wise words into full consideration, as I aways do know...Mommyknows!

Anonymous said...

crab mommy, I am with you all the way. Those damn missionaries are so annoying. If you can persuade them to do your laundry however.....I'm all for it!

Anonymous said...

All I've ever been offered from Mobots were pamphlets -- and, although one did tell me that my painting was "nice," it was said with very little pizazz!

Crabmommy said...

One thing that I need to point out: Mormons, and especially Mormon moms, deserve our admiration for facing into each day WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Good God!

Anonymous said...

I am a mormon mommy, am half normal, have only two kids and do my own laundry :) CM, saw your comment on my page a few days ago, so nice of you to stop by. Did a little spotlight on fav bloggers today... you are at the top as usual. always flattered to have you around my blog.

Lela said...

Please... let's not complain about the Mormons when there are perfectly good Jehovah's Witnesses at the door! Crabmommy, you are wonderful! Keep up the posts and I'll keep tuning in.
~another writing mom