Everything Totally Went Down...At the Rodeo!

The moment has arrived.

I am ready to tell.

Crabfamily went!! We did! And there did we hobnob with Aaron of Crabcorner cowboy-infested compound. Who took us backstage. I mean, behind the buck-and-shoots. Or is it bucking chutes? Hmm. I didn't pause to check the spelling with Aaron, and something tells me he might not have been able to help me there. Either way, now I know what a buck-and-shoot/bucking chute is. And it is dang scary, that little gate holding back those surly chunky bulls with their dirty, prongy headgear.

Let's start from the beginning.

Tot dressed in appropriate attire (we pulled out from hibernation the outfit Crabgammy bought for her before she was even born). We consumed a hearty dinner of tacos and beans.We walked down to the rodeo, spotted our neighbor, and went backstage immediately, VIP peeps that we are. And though Tot didn't have cowboy boots and had to settle for rainboots instead...
...she knew she was cool because hot damn, she was behind the bucking chutes and on first-name terms with a real bull rider in this here event.

And here he is, readers.

Our personal bullrider, also known as King of Crabcorner Cowboy Compound.

You've been waiting for him...

Maybe I should make you wait longer..........
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Like on of those annoying email forwards involving lucky numbers and favorite colors and endless scrolling down to see whether you are a person of inner peace or a manic depressive...


wait for it....


hold on....


add 3 to your number then times it by 5.

OKAY! Here he is peeking out from behind Ctot's fringed top.
A good shot, eh? A handsome chap. Though my African sister kept thinking he had something a bit off in the facial region, on account of a squonky angle to one side of the mouth. But we know that he just packs a chew, peeps.

Thus began a spell of watching the bullriders pulling on their chaps, taping each others gloves to their wrists......and doing these weird, jiggy perpendicular leg movements in preparation for the event, movements that were too flash-fast for me to capture on film, unfortunately. We also watched them pray into their hats. Crabfamily doesn't see or do much praying so this here definitely warranted a sneaky shot. Then we watched the various menfolk prancing about on horseback and womenfolk too, who were referred to by the announcer as "pretty little cowgirls." Lovely!

Crabtot was entranced. No, I'm not that good-looking. That's my sister. At one point they opened the gates and let out a flood of small children to rush a hapless sheep.Tot was desperate to join and screamed, begging us to let her be a "mutton-buster" (rodeos are very educational! New vocab words of many syllables!). She tried to hurl herself over the fence. And had to be told off by Crabmommy.

Yes, that's my finger. Oh, thank you...yes I have been told how attractive my finger is, but nice of you to say it again!

The grand finale: the bullriders line up and then one by one they enter the ring and try their luck at staying on for 8 seconds. We went crazy rooting for our man, whom, the announcer gravely informed the audience, was holding his rope in a suicide hand wrap. This is when you know a rider means business. And is not afraid to die for doing what he loves.

Crabcorner-Cowboy-Compound-King goes up.And alas, comes down in 3 seconds.But, at least this time, he walks away unharmed.Okay, so in all seriousness, Aaron is a very brave and or very stupid man. It's really quite shocking when you hear the inside scoop, backstage, from a VIP's perspective. Behind the chutes did we learn that everyone who does this will either get maimed or die from doing it. Aaron told us he knows 2 people who have died doing it. And when we went backstage there were a couple of cowboys limping in turquoise chaps. Or, at least they limped when we walked past them. Then they seemed to straighten up behind our backs.

But, yes, a very dangerous sport and the announcer verified the fact of accepting death or serious injury as a given if you enter the sport. That and poverty. They made our Crabking pay $50 to enter himself in this event. And the winner only makes $280! Ridiculous, I say.

So did we give our friend the money we felt he should have rightly earned for putting his life at risk for our entertainment?

No. But we did give him a six-pack.

And so, my friends, we come to the end of an era. After circling our crabcowboy friends for so long, we are now all tighter than a strap around a bull's willy. We had a great night at our very first rodeo. We learned that the life of Aaron and his buds is one of certain demise, deep poverty, extreme grime, and cheerful obsession. We learned that one must very cheerfully sport a death wish to participate in such a life, and one must be content to live in a trailer or in one's car and to eat at Wendy's very, very often.

Crabtot dug it madly.When we got home, the world of our Crabcorner looked a little different, bathed in the afterglow of that night. Everything looks transformed now!Or maybe not.