Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wishipedia: Don't You Wish You Were in It?

So I know it's pathetic to Google ex-boyfriends and take the time to follow up on their post-me escapades. But what else should I be doing with my time? Looking after children? Cleaning loos? Exercising? Or reading about how the Dalai Lama feels a "special connection" to George Bush ("like a 'reunion' of families!")!

Googling is much more informative. Especially because it seems to me an awful lot of my exes have been getting up to all sorts of things. One is now a crack dealer and a rapist (and I hate to say it, he's still very handsome, even in his mug shot). One has listed himself on a Russian bride website. (He was Eastern European so I'm sure he's looking for a genuine cultural affiliation). And two of them, I am disappointed to say, have merited their very own Wikipedia entries.

And that bothers me.

When you have to see the name of an ex as chosen by the world (or those weird Wikipedia workers) as a designated important person, it just, you know, tweaks your vibe. Especially when the person profiled is a serious jerk (not you, ex-boyfriend...but YOU. Yes, YOU!) And the other is not a complete jerk but bloody hell if he didn't also go on to succeed amazingly well when he left these arms. Which makes him kind of an actual total jerk.

Basically, I'm just jealous. I want my own Wikipedia entry! Or at the very least what they call a "stub" which means a sort of small bookmarky thing that says you are in fact very important even if we don't really know or care to find out much about you right now. Yes, I want to be in Wikipedia. Don't you? I mean, when you make it there you know you've done more than merely Googled your exes and blogged about Ikea washing lines and bad baby names all the livelong day, eh? All of which leads me to my newest brainwave:

Wishipedia: An Encyclopedia of Important Unknown People in the World

Officially, an invitation for you, dear readers of Crabmommy. Join me in writing your own bio about yourself and the things you have got up to. And if you haven't got up to very much yet, then MAKE IT UP. I give you permission. This is WISHipedia, after all, where wishful thinking rules!

Write me that pithy version of your life story (or invented life, or life you hope one day to get around to living), touching upon all highlights both public and personal.

Then let's put them up on a website called Wishipedia... and maybe others will come and do the same. And then if each of these wishful-thinkers pays me a dollar I will become rich, meriting me a Wikipedia write-up for real. Or at the very least, a stub! I mean, there must be at least one million losers out there who, like me, are waiting for someone to write them into Wikipedia YET ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING THAT MERITS A WIKIPEDIA ENTRY.

If you're one of us, do join!

Wishipedia: coming to a blog near you. I await your stories at crabmommy at gmail dot com. And I will write my own, oh yes indeedy I will. Be prepared, ex-boyfriends, because one day you'll be Googling me...and seeing just how much I prospered and made genius cultural contributions since we parted ways.

Flipping bloody wankers.

15 comments:

grunnio corocotta said...

See, the way to think about this is that if/when you've *really* made it, you'll be only too happy to get your ass *out* of Wikipedia. Be thankful that you still have opportunity to control the information flow before that future hits.

Ravi said...

My gift to you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crabmommy

Just getting it started. Edit as you see fit.

Ravi said...

LOL.
They took it down seconds later. I've contested the deletion though. Probably futile.

Amanda said...

Ravi! What a rollercoaster of emotions! At first it was astonishment -- I never knew one could simply be nominated...and there I was: a Wiki-force to be reckoned with!!! Then the plummeting of excitement, the dashing of hope: the Wiki-team has removed me! And so fast! Give Crabmommy a chance, I says! But you know, it was all worth it. I feel a bit like Al Gore must have felt -- I mean, a while ago, not like right now when he has the Nobel. It's all that "now you have it, now you don't" stuff I'm talking about.

But thank YOU Ravi. I am glad that you deemed me wiki-worthy.

Grunnio, you are quite right. In the end, it only matters that one has control over one's destiny and that you do/make/don't do what you believe in. But I also think Wishipedia is, in essence, a celebration of those who who are unknown. It is about acknowledging all the unknown but splendid people in our cyber-orbits...because we may be more obscure, but we are still here.

Or something like that.

crabmommy said...

but less obscure when we use names instead of avatars, Amanda. Whoever you may be.

Mamma Sarah said...

What a super fantastic idea. I thought that only celebs, the rich and famous, and politicans had pages... and here Crabmommy got one. I too was sad to see it was taken down, but maybe... just maybe.

googlegrants said...

My point is that Crabmommy IS a celeb. They deleted the entry on the grounds that it was frivolous, possibly self-promotion. In contesting the deletion, I pointed out that I am not Crabmommy, ergo no self-promotion, and that she is a prominent example of a genre of motherhood-related bloggers. They countered with a deletion of that argument and kept the page off Wikipedia, arguing that the piece was too insubstantial and that I hadn't provided enough historical context in the original page to make a case for Crabmommy's importance. That's my interpretation of the regulations that were cited anyway:

(CSD A3: No meaningful content)

Pinks & Blues said...

This is a great post!! And believe me... me and my girlfriends google everyone from ex-boyfriends to girls we didn't like in high-school. And... you know it's bad when a girlfriend of mine actually started checking bridal/baby registries for old boyfriends!
- Audrey

grunnio corocotta said...

Bingo! And that's why nothing is better, in the end, than a nice old-fashioned low profile ...

Inky Ink Inc. said...

I've Googled a few of my former girlfriends and haven't found a thing. It seems that if they were nobodies when I was going out with them they've at least had the decency to stay that way. So we still have that much in common!

Daisy said...

Sounds like fun! I don't wish to be in it, though. Being a public figure wouldn't suit me.

RK said...

May I suggest the Uncyclopedia?

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

Crabmommy said...

RK,
that's pure genius! The uncyclopedia!
As always, when it comes to one's clever ideas, someone beats you to it. Wich probably means that Crabmommy doesn't belong in Wikipedia after all.

Read some, people, it's really quite amusing:

http://uncyclopedia.org

lightening said...

LOL - I thought it was bad enough coming across them on Facebook!!!! Don't think any of mine have made it to Wikipedia - not that I've actually checked. :-) Perhaps I should....

CRUSTYBEEF said...

this was just great!!!the comments too!! WOW!
Always,
Crusty!