Momspit Competition: And the Winners Are

Drumroll:
a small bottle of Momspit each, to lace and I am just the Mother. A large bottle of Momspit to Mommyknows. Winners, please email me at crabmommyatgmaildotcom (which I am spelling out to confound the spam robots) and I will have the good peeps at Momspitdotcom ship your prizes to you.

Crabtot and I were dying to give the spit to the commenter who posted as "anonymous" and begged for to be picked as the winner, but fate played a different hand. For those disappointed entrants, Momspit may be offered again in an August drawing. So keep reading and you might find yourself the proud owner of green tea & fig-scented spit before the summer is over!

In other news: after the recent inflamed conversation on this blog about my Crabmusings re. the recent ethnic diversity of Crabtown, some of you may be glad to know that I got my comeuppance at Albertson's yesterday. I went to buy tacos only to be confronted with a threatening mob of angry Eastern Europeans, who had read my blog and apparently understood it (There I thought their English was so bad!). They were pretty angry at what they considered to be ethnic slandering and stereotyping on my part. So they came at me, brandishing kielbasy! And then one of them hurled a jar of beets! I should have brought some tampon wieners to set upon them but I hadn't anticipated the attack.

I ran. Down the aisles. Until I found the one labeled "Hispanic foods." And I grabbed a box of Old El Paso taco shells. They were very stale and hence made quite a good shield, deflecting the various pickled and root-vegetable-based foodstuffs that were being thrown at me.

At a certain point, though, the mob just stopped and then we all just started talking. And I heard them out. And then I explained also that as a South African of many generations my cultural traditions involve a certain amount of ethnic stereotyping and slandering, and I asked everyone to just be sensitive to and cognizant of that fact, and not to attack me for my particular belief system and the ways of my people. And we all nodded and realized that, in fact, we are all alike. We all eat food. We all feel pain. We all have feelings. We all have red blood (even people of color and Eastern Europeans have red blood and so do Red Indians! I mean, Native Americans). Then they invited me to their youth hostel for a party.

As with the Wendy's cowboys, I left Albertson's knowing that new friendships had been forged in the unlikeliest of ways and with the most unlikely people, some of whom had really pretty eyes.

But God knows I'm not going to their party. Who wants to listen to that Slavic rock music! No thanks!

To sum up this episode in Cmom history, dear readers, I have definitely learned something and I hope everyone else has too. I have received a lot of mail about this post. Yes, I have offended some. And yet others feel I should not have apologized. So I thought about apologizing for apologizing. Then I realized that while things get complex and tricky when you are writing satire, you can stick to one simple code: be funny. Thus, my apology stands; I wasn't funny enough in my posting about Crabtown and its European Invasion. The writing was sloppy and not properly contextualized. Mostly, it just wasn't as good as it needed to be. I am certainly sorry for that.

Happy weekend, and thanks everyone for posting your thoughts and reading my blog. You are dang fine people, each and every and all of you. Even those of you from other countries!