Sunday, July 8, 2007

Are You Happy?

Crabtot, sassy little muffin that she is, has cottoned on to a new way to infuriate me.

When I am especially angry or in a pre-meltdown moment she quietly asks, "Mommy, are you happy?" And because this drives me nuts, and because I have little self-control, this results in answers such as, "No, I am not happy! Because you are not listening to Mommy and this makes me very cross and sad!" Then I stop around and shout some more. And she repeats the phrase in her soft, maddening little voice.

"Are you happy?"

"Are you happy now, Mommy?"

Now you know I don't like parental braggery. But really, is quite amazing and infuriating that she has the wherewithal to produce this line whenever I am at my most challenged.

And of course this challenge from a 2-yr-old should shame me into pulling myself together. And yes, I have tried and occasionally succeeded at composure in my responses. "Yes!" I say in a falsely bright tone. "I'm happy." Or "Soon. Soon I will be happy. If you stop asking me about being happy and start behaving properly."

But mostly I just want to bite off my own finger when I hear this question. Because it goes right to the heart of my MADNESS and LACK OF CONTROL. When I feel the frustrated Mommy-rage building in me, that one little question is enough to send me over the edge. It's like stubbing your toe: a mix of anger and pain and plain old irritation. As in, how could I be so stupid as to stub my toe? As in, how could I be so stupid as to lose my cool over something a 2-year-old is doing? Yet whatever it is this 2-yr-old is doing becomes only more irksome when paired with that soft, insistent, bloody right-on question.

Or maybe I am misinterpreting and my prescient 2-yr-old is in fact prying into something far more existential and big-picture-ish. Maybe she isn't commenting ironically on my hyper-flapped and fussed present-moment state but is instead prodding me on my overall negative gestalt, a quiet rebuke underscoring her otherwise innocent tone.

In both cases, Tot, my answer remains the same. No. I am not happy. And if you ask me again there will be no Gummi bear today. And then we shall all be very unhappy. :)

7 comments: said...


Gingers Mom said...

I second mommyknows. We all need a little of it now and then. Nothing makes you want to grap a rifle and start shooting like a 2 year old. I got one myself.

Anonymous said...

This was EXACTLY my day yesterday. Except I said no going to wonderland for a week. Needless to say by 6:00 she forgot about it and said are we going to wonderland today!!!my face went red as she was still being very naughty and she said "are you happy Mommy". I think I have just about gnawed threw my arm!
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone as I look at Angelina Jolie toting 50 little angels around without a peep :o)

marina12 said...

I had to laugh reading this- distance from a situation like this does wonders...that and valium :) My daughter does the exact same thing- how strange is that? Are all these little toddlers secretly communicating to one another and teaching each other the best "tips and tricks to annoy mommy?" Please let this phase pass quickly for all of us so that we can hold on to some semblance of sanity. I wish you all the best!

skape7 said...

OH MY GOD. My child has done EXACTLY the same thing. I havn't heard it for a few months now, but it used to drive me NUTS. I agree with Marina12, there is definately something fishy going down with covert toddler correspondance that we parents have no idea about!!

Anonymous said...

haha, mine used to say this when she was 2, at 3 she is now more into hovering while im busy and then just about tripping me up with a hug and the sweet "i love you mommy"
which is sweet at times bu infuriating the 10th time after being told "i love you too honey but "go play while i finish this chore!! i told you to stop bugging me oh im never going to get anything done""
:) maybe i need valium too

angelica said...

Ahhh. Mine's just as bad. My little 2 year old monster says calmly, "Calm down, Mommy." Really. I can be completely calm until I am instructed to do so by the kid.