Let's take a poll, shall we, for those of us who find ourselves frequently mired in housework. And if you're looking for something sweeter today, see me confess to my OUTRAGEOUSLY EMBARRASSING AND SCHLOCKY crush here. I know, I know.
On this website I will never: *speak of the enchanting constant joy and transformative wonderment of motherhood *dispense little nuggets about what my child has taught me *tell any mom to stop and smell the diapers "because it all goes by in the blink of an eye" *make jokes about bowel movements and baby body fluids (because it's not my thing and it can be found abundantly elsewhere) *use the word "miracle" *count my blessings *chart my child's developmental milestones *seem to be in a good or grateful mood *be mean about my friends or family because they'll get me back
On this website I will: *laugh at myself *laugh at others *laugh at rural momming *laugh at urban momming *mock the Stokke highchair *covet the Stokke highchair
Disclaimer: Let me say once for the record: like any mother I adore my own tot, think she is more brilliant, beautiful and gifted than yours, but this goes without saying. So I'm not going to say it (again). Rather, I vow to use my precious bloody-little time to talk about the more wretched and tricky aspects of momhood, pausing often to drown myself in a vat of self-pity and whining. Welcome!
Originally South African, then was an urban mommy (NYC), then hubby and I decided NYC sucks unless one is awash in cash...so we decamped to the smalltown cowboy west, to a town of many hyperfit, cheery "Look On the Bright Side" moms. Too much cheeriness forced us north and west and urban and rainy. I am happier in gloom. Crabmommy is mom to one child and one only, and by God it's going to stay that way. Recent musings in a variety of fancy literary magazines that nobody reads SO THEN I GOT A REAL WRITING JOB with Cookie magazine online, where I have a bloglet about momming. (Like I don't plug that one enough. Sheesh.)
email: crabmommy [then u make the at sign] gmail [dot] com