On this website I will never: *speak of the enchanting constant joy and transformative wonderment of motherhood *dispense little nuggets about what my child has taught me *tell any mom to stop and smell the diapers "because it all goes by in the blink of an eye" *make jokes about bowel movements and baby body fluids (because it's not my thing and it can be found abundantly elsewhere) *use the word "miracle" *count my blessings *chart my child's developmental milestones *seem to be in a good or grateful mood *be mean about my friends or family because they'll get me back
On this website I will: *laugh at myself *laugh at others *laugh at rural momming *laugh at urban momming *mock the Stokke highchair *covet the Stokke highchair
Disclaimer: Let me say once for the record: like any mother I adore my own tot, think she is more brilliant, beautiful and gifted than yours, but this goes without saying. So I'm not going to say it (again). Rather, I vow to use my precious bloody-little time to talk about the more wretched and tricky aspects of momhood, pausing often to drown myself in a vat of self-pity and whining. Welcome!
Originally South African, then was an urban mommy (NYC), then hubby and I decided NYC sucks unless one is awash in cash...so we decamped to the smalltown cowboy west, to a town of many hyperfit, cheery "Look On the Bright Side" moms. Too much cheeriness forced us north and west and urban and rainy. I am happier in gloom. Crabmommy is mom to one child and one only, and by God it's going to stay that way. Recent musings in a variety of fancy literary magazines that nobody reads SO THEN I GOT A REAL WRITING JOB with Cookie magazine online, where I have a bloglet about momming. (Like I don't plug that one enough. Sheesh.)
email: crabmommy [then u make the at sign] gmail [dot] com