Thursday, December 18, 2008

Way Happy Holiday Newsletter!

Salutations, one and all:

I regret to inform you that I did not manage to get around to taking and posting any sort of holiday greeting, comprising a snapshot of our family in matching JCrew sweaters chortling spontaneously and giving the impression that all is well at our house.

Happily, I did manage to write a holiday newsletter. Counter to Crabmommy character, it is way positive because even though I frequently write negative self-pitying sorts of anecdotes, I do nevertheless know that I am in an awesome orbit of this thing called life, and when all is said and done I know that I ROCK hugely! And so does everything and everyone whose lives touch mine.

Here's an excerpt:

It's been a busy year in the lives of the Crabfamily. We moved from rural Crabtown to Crabcity, left friends and enemies behind and are busily making new ones. But change is good! Unless, of course, it's bad. In which case it would not be not good at all.

Thankfully we feel much happier in Crabcity, or at least, Crabmom does—and as we all know a happy mommy is the most important part of any family. I love being back in the urban jungle, even if my particular choice of city puts me in touch with the occasional fascist hippie-mama with whom I might tussle in a verbally abusive exchange on a street corner. But all in all I enjoy taking Crabkid out to parks and playgrounds to mingle with a diverse multi-culti crowd and display her talents and charm to a wider audience.

Please go here to read it all and in fact, to read any Crabmommy musings in the next couple of weeks. My blogging finger is going on a vacation. Me, I'm doing a staycation, but my blogging finger is going to Me-Hi-co.

May you and yours enjoy a snippet of snow, a jingle of bells, a crazy-amazing Kwanzaa, a Hanukkah so happy the minora practically levitates off your windowsill—unless you're Bernie Madoff, and if you are I suggest you lie very low and avoid noshing any food brought to you by your relatives, for it may be kosher but it may also be poisoned. Seriously, Bernie. I'd even nix the Wolferman's muffins this year.

And thank you, yes, I will delight in all that Festivus brings to my me and mine.

Your friend, who truly is grateful—without reservation or irony—to have you as my reader,



Anonymous said...

We're having Festivus at my house, too. I can't wait to surprise the guests with the airing of grievances. After dessert, feats of strength!

Anonymous said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


daniel kuntschik said...

Happy holidays blogging finger

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Anonymous said...

Why don't the people who send me holiday newsletters have even a tenth of your sense of humor?