Thursday, January 24, 2008

Badmommies in NYMAG

PRpeeps, bring me that lip balm because Crabmommy is going straight to the top, yo!

As in, I got mentioned in this badass piece by badass Ayelet Waldman in badass NYmag (is that badass enough for the PR peeps with the lip balm?) OK, enough about the lip balm and the Crabmom inside jokes. I am just trying to spread a little blogliciousness and remind people that I am super-duper-famous and THEREFORE they should also read me crabbing at Cookie magazine, which will keep me both super-duper-famous and also a teensy bit gainfully employed.

OK, I am just briefly mentioned.

But it's a dang good piece. About bad mothers. And their bitchy, nasty, lazy and resentful ways. Or at least, it's about conceptions and notions about what it means to be a good vs. bad mom. And as you know, that's a topic I never tire of.

Oddly enough, both this piece and my current bloglet post, "The Power of Negative Thinking," mention the drowning of children in bathtubs. In my case, this reference, which I did make flippantly, gained me a spot of vitriol in the Cookie comments this week. And speaking of vitriol, did you guys see the chick who wants me reported to DCF for washing Crabtot's mouth out with soap? Crikey, I can only begin to wonder what she will think of my spanking-related material. She's a scary lady! But as she says, she's a good mother (and inexplicably, she lists living in "a large Colonial house" as proof of that! Lady, GOOD. FOR. YOU. Enjoy!)

OK, so on another tack, sorry for the general blog-silence but I am in Africa and we have power outs constantly because it is called "load shedding" here and also I am dealing with car theft and too much gin and tonic and so forth. Back in US end of this week. If I live to tell the tale of that hellish journey, I surely will.

And for those of you new to the Crabmommy and wondering why I am supposed to be bad when really all I talk about these days is lip balm and going on safari, don't feel cheated, for I shall I provide here a smattering of pieces -- call it a smorgasbord, if you must -- that should give a sense of the generally more tweaked vibe I like to emit:

I like to rag on edu-mommies.
And bragmommies.
I try to be a patient mommy, but I mostly lose my temper. Bear witness.
And if that doesn't float your boat, many other topics are covered regularly in these pages; for example, rodeos, Mormons, prefabricated houses (my personal favorite blog-post here), and I also give out prizes purchased from my local dollar store, such as mango-flavored pineapple strips.

OK, enough. Really, Crabmommy. It's enough.


Anonymous said...

Parenting in general in hard work, especially when the kids get old enough to talk back or cruise the neighborhood on their own.

I can't imagine what it's like for a stay at home mom with no outlet, or companionship with another human being over the age of 12. In my experience, those moms quickly lose track of reality. Don't get me started on the whole idea of home schooling.

Leann I Am said...

I just vented on my other blog about how Dr. Phil and his 'lovely wife, Robin' need to just go away.

A week or so ago, maybe, DARLING ROBIN went on the show and bragged that she never ever ever ever EVER raised her voice at either of her boys. She has never told them ANYTHING but how wonderful and perfect they are.

Anyone wanna form a lynch mob? Who's with me?

crabmommy said...

Lee and Leann, I am totally with you! These people are the real monsters. I mean, momsters.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

i heard somewhere that DARLING ROBIN discussed publicly that she hasn't had any cosmetic work done when her face never actually moves...

i cannot tolerate holier than thou types like Mrs. Phil. i certainly do not pretend that my mornings start out with me sipping unicorn milk in a sunbeam! parenting sucks in many ways, while at the same time a rewarding, hilarious experience that i wouldn't trade for the world. said...

Hey CM,

Congrats for the mention in NYMAG.

However, after much thought (well not really that much) I think it should be retitled "REAL Mommy Brigade", because we're not BAD are we? We're just 'real' moms, doing 'real' parenting.

Frankly, sometimes it's a dirty, smelly, thankless job and lots of times it's not.

I'm all in agreement with matter of fact mommy.

Have a safe trip home!


suchsimplepleasures said...

i'm all for washing mouths out!! i've also put pepper on my sons tongue...for swearing...the shithead!! i haven't done that in a super long time! but, i have had to potchkey the tushie for saying bad word, just yesterday!! hey...whatever works!!
i don't heart dr. phil. actually, he turns my stomach. so does the thought of homeschooling...just commenting on what your other readers have said... are type of crab mom!! and...our kids are going to turn out better than theirs!!

RK said...

I heart Crabmom even more, in a totally krostige way!

skape7 said...

Here, here!!

Omar Cruz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I stay at home with 3 children. 13, 10 and 4. I also take care of my sister's baby. I yell at my kids and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I just have a really hard time with people who say things like, "I don't spank or yell, etc." Yay for you! My kids are good kids but they know how to push my buttons. Homeschooling? I curl up into the fetal position when the kids have time off from school. With lots of vodka.

IzzyBeth said...

I just found your blog today and I love it - I am going to go back and read from the beginning. Thank you for saying what everyone else is afraid to say!!