Monday, November 24, 2008

Crabmommy revealed! In her school uniform!

*If you're here to enter the TEDDE giveaway, by all means do! Go here and put your name in the comments. This giveaway closes on Monday, November 24 at 10 PM PST.*

I've never wanted to show my face to you. I always swore I wouldn't flash my fabulous self at you, dear readers, and would instead let my words do the talking. But you can't hide from your fans forever. Sooner or later you have to let them lay eyes upon your visage. And it is for this reason and one other that I reveal myself to you today:Yes, that is me. Maybe fourth grade or so. I continue to maintain fancy bangs. Sadly, that gorgeous frock I'm in is no longer in my wardrobe. For it was my school uniform and though I wore it for TWELVE YEARS in my native country of South Africa, where fascism was ALIVE AND WELL for a very long time as we all know, I have sadly divested myself of it, and of its winter counterpart, a similarly hideous affair, designed in 1922, involving choke collar, strange A-line, and, for a few years (until the moms petitioned it away), matching regulation underwear. Which we had to show to the teachers on demand.

Lovely stuff.

So why, then, would I love for Crabkid to have this dress? I would. I'm being dead serious. I think there is much to be gained by forcing children to wear appalling outfits throughout their school years, and no, I'm not being ironic. I'm a big believer in uniforms. The uglier the better. I draw the line at regulation underwear but a ghastly, never-changing frock is a great thing as far as the Crabmommy is concerned.

To find out why the Crabmommy would wish to foist something this hideous on her one and only and precious and beautiful bairn, please click on this magical link which through the wizardry of modern science will fling you through cyberspace and to a bloglet that will make all clear to you. And as if you need further enticement, let me just say that I saved the better photograph for this page. Same uniform, different hair. Two words: even worse. Two words: acorn cap. Two words: Pontius Pilate. Two words: Julius Caesar.


Anonymous said...

I don't know what's more shocking - the uniform, or evidence that you smile! Don't get me wrong, because it's a very lovely smile. I just always pictured you more along the lines of your sulky-faced little self in your masthead.

I can appreciate your love for school uniforms. I was never subjected to them, but looking back at photos of me as a pre-teen in the late 80s, I almost wish I had been. Layered t-shirts in garish colors with the sleeves rolled up! Multi-colored hair scrunchies and claw-like bangs! Tight-rolled pants! Someone SHOULD have squashed that sort of self-expression in the best interest of my future self. At least your fashion crime wasn't self-imposed!

mommyknows said...

I think you are adorable! Regulation knickers, eh? I thought they did away with those sorts of things in the 1930's?

I left me uniform opinion @ the bloglet.

Anonymous said...

Love you blog Crabby!


I have started a new blog focused on the funny and often thought provoking things kids say using their own set of “logic” and thought.

It is called

I am reaching out to blogs like yours and inviting you to share some of your own fun stories where kids say and express themselves.

I will, of course, link back to your blog.

To submit – just comment on any post or send me an email to

Thanks and I hope to hear from you!

Dad S

ps – I voted for you in the Blogger Choice Awards!

RK said...

Hah hah. I didgs the pigtails and the baubles.

Elizabeth Stark said...

On an unrelated topic--since you look nothing like Tedde, even in school uniform--I wanted to say THANK YOU. We got Tedde in the mail today in a perfect box. He's amazing, and he's going under the Xmas tree/ Hannukah bush . . .