Thursday, February 15, 2007

Bosom Buddies: Tit-illation in Lactation Nation

Sometimes I am glad to be far from the sophisticated urban lacto-jungle that is my former home, Brooklyn, NYC.

Apparently a spot of boob-sharing (nursing your pal's tot) is on for one Brooklyn writer and her breast friend:
http://www.babble.com/content/articles/features/personalessays/baumgardner/breastfriends/
I am sorry to, once again, have to trash some Babble.com person but this chick and her pal who nurse each other's babies for kicks (or as they call, it, "bonding") make me want to button up their bosoms on their behalf. Being a Victorian occasionally feels chic. This is one of those moments.

Please do read the piece. And the comments are equally icky, supportive and open-minded as they are. Bah humbug, i say to the mom who says "it's the way it's been done for thousands of years." So this is rationale for boob-swinging -- that it is an old tradition of sorority or somesuch that's gone on since boob immemorial. Whaa?! OK, I don't really bloody know a thing about it, but I highly doubt any wet nurse tradition had anything to do with female bonding. I think it had more to do with a time, long ago, not so much BC as BMPIS (Before Medela Pump In Style) where one mom had to be out in a distant field harvesting grains while another mom put nip to that mom's babe. Or else wet-nursing was a paid job, or a slave job in Roman times or whatever. But a bonding thing? As for providing much needed nurture for your friend's baby -- Lady, your friend is RIGHT THERE next to you (and nursing your son!). She's not on her deathbed, incapacitated, out of feeding commission. She's not even plucking grains in a field, fergodssake.

What bug me most about this is the notion that the babies' basic need for nourishment is put to service for the way-intricate subtleties of their moms' friendship, tots unwittingly suckled by mom's best friend so that the moms can get something out of it. That's manipulative. Moms teat aint available for her own baby; only for someone else's. Seems a bit mommy-selfish to me. That said, I am the queen of mom selfishness so maybe I should like these gals after all.

And then we are supposed to also buy that it is a sisterly vibe these moms feel one to the other? The writer has a book out on bisexuality. Chances are, she's ogling her friends knockers during this lacto-fest, eh?

I am also not endeared by the writer because her son is named Skuli. Please. I know my kid has a Scando name but Skuli...? That sounds like a high chair.

7 comments:

Margot/Claire said...

I always use other women's bosoms when breastfeeding my darling Winter. I like to reserve my bosoms for useful things like swimwear and tight tennis outfits and button-down shirts with a missing button. Claire, on the other hand, well she'll feed any Tip, Kip, or Jimmy. Claire has always been a bit of a nip slut.

Margot/Claire said...

I'd like to defent my honor against Margot's assertion that I am a "nip slut." I am a generous woman with an abundance of nutrition and for crying out loud, there are starving babies out there who need to be fed. Like Margot's. Poor little Winter could do with a bit of my boob.

Margot/Claire said...

Come off it, Claire. In school you were the biggest nip slut in the 7th grade.

Margot/Claire said...

It's true. Perhaps I do have a certain proclivity for sharing my bosoms that preceeds Mommyhood.

grunnio corocotta said...

Does titswapper have a daughter, or a son? Because a daughter might forgive that shit, but when son pulls out his 95 Theses a couple decades from now and nails it on mom's giggle-browed, transgressive-as-I-want-to-be forehead, titswapping is a slam dunk for the top ten. Manipulative is the word for it.

hardy44 said...

WTF?!

Being the Freudian that I am, I can't help but think of the Swinging Seventies. This is wrong, not to mention disgusting. A line has been crossed....

Anonymous said...

Bonding? They want their baby to bond to another mother?!! I dont't quite understand it myself. Seems like they are doing for a lark, more than anything. Huge Tits Milf