Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Lousy Job?

I've been trying to think creatively about work. What jobs really are recession-proof? And more important, what jobs is this writer-mom qualified to go into to pull an income in troubled times? I have some writing work right now (more on that later) but I'm looking for something enduring and hourly, something I can do on a flex sched, 'cause my blogging butt has become extremely used to working on my own time in an ugly robe, looking like crap, and conducting a business life that involves zero co-workers. So what to do? Ladies, I think I've found it.

Nit-picking. Professional nit-picking. That's right; it is a real job. As the Times reports, unsqueamish ladies are making a tidy hourly rate "laboriously picking through people’s hair for lice and nits, or eggs — for a fee, of course."

I am heartened to learn that if you don't mind combine critters off the scalps of other people's tykes, you will find yourself a ready clientele, since "services as a professional nitpicker are more in demand as the tiny pests are showing up on schoolchildren’s heads with continuing regularity."

Since Americans tend to be a tad more freaked by bugs than most, it is only fitting that pro nitpickers have come to be, and as a wannabe-nitpicker I'm hoping even the recession hasn't caused American moms to do their own dirty work in this regard. Crabkid hasn't yet had lice, but I'm sure she will soon enough and I'm equally sure her curls will prove both a cozy home for lice and a challenge to the nitpicker to unsnarl. But it doesn't faze me. I'm not too bugged by little bugs.

What does faze me, though, is the notion of wearing a shower cap while at work. And you'd have to, right? Otherwise the lice would hop onto your scalp as an occupational hazard. Shower caps. Hmm. That's worse than a head lamp, surely. But hey, every job has its cons.

What do you think? Would you send your kid to a nitpicker if you could or would you save the $40 and DIY?

9 comments:

Alexis said...

You could wear a swim cap and a wig so the critters couldn't find their way to your scalp but you would still have hair. It could double as a disguise to hide your shame at being a professional nit-picker.

SamZed said...

You could even collect the nits you pick and spread them willy-nilly to create more work and income for yourself and your fellow nitpickers.

crabmommy said...

SamZed,
That is absolutely genius.
Indeed, to the entrepreneurial mother, these critters can be the essence of capitalism. Long live the mighty nit!
Crabmommy

borntoshop.co.za said...

Watch an episode of South Park last night about head lice that had feelings, and partners and babies and didn't want to leave their planet. Spare a thought?

tonypark said...

Perhaps get a job with the national parks service, combing campers and camp grounds and removing head lamps from campers' heads, as well as any tiny moving livestock.

I've been so busy doing nothing I haven't checked your blog for ages, and when I do... lo, I am reminded that you are the only person in the world who hates headlamps more than me.

And now, for the Crocs...

lace said...

only $40? If you actually search for these services they charge around $100 an hour with a minimum of $200. Get a whole family full of them and you could make some big $$$

crabmommy said...

ooh, lace--I like your idea of the minimum charge. And I will also charge a different fee for dispatching flying lice vs. nits (eggs--for you laypeople). If a single critter with wings emerges from an infected head, that's a straight $100 surcharge right there. [rubs hands together in glee].
Borntoshop: tee hee. I guess breaking up lousy families is just something I'm going to have to harden my heart to...

free wifi said...

Hey there mommy. Just spare the thought of sending your child to the net picker~

steven the report scheduler said...

LOL. What a career option.