Sunday, October 3, 2010

--...-.-.-Anybody Out There?..-.-

Crabmommy is Morse code...I have been trapped...for exactly O-N-E- Y-E-A-R in a cage on an island. And this is why I have not blogged. Why I became a not-blogger.

Yes it's true. I was kidnapped. Mom-napped actually. The PPP (Positive Parenting Police) conspired with the (West Coast NV [Non-Vaccinators] Collective) and decided they'd had enough of me badmouthing their scene to exactly 12 readers. Even 12 was too many! So they got me at the park, in broad daylight, stuck me in the back of a Prius under an organic hemp baby blanket and drove me away. At first, all I knew was darkness...But I could smell the ocean. They kept me in a cage, and let me out once a day for exercise. I tried to send you all messages via Morse code, but I guess none came through.

Mercifully, I managed to escape and now here I am safely stashed in my Portland apartment. Exactly one year later to the very day.


My 12 fans, I cannot promise a return to mom-blogging. The mom-napping experience has left me raw and feeble, my words hesitant, my resolve crumbled into a tiny pile of...crumbled resolve. But I do hope at least to say HI and WOSSUP! And SORRY for the extreme silence and lack of explanations. I definitely thought of all of you as I sat in my cage on that nasty island off the Oregon coast, which looked like this.

Photo by Matt Niebuhr. Used with permission - All rights Reserved - Matt Niebuhr.

How did I escape? LONG STORY. I think all that matters it that I'm home, safe, and sound.


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