Randomommy

I never thought I could get quite so excited over a household product, but HOT DAMN if my life hasn't changed since I started using shower caps in the kitchen.

It's just that when I see tupperware and its generic friends I am so often filled with doom. I loathe washing them out, and there is always one that's been in my fridge for forty days, containing a primeval curry. You see it when you open the fridge and reach way into the back in search of olives and maybe a thumb of half-frozen but still-good goat cheese. You see it and it sees you because by now it has grown eyes. But you can't stand the thought of cleaning out the tupps after dumping the curry, so you just plum leave it there. Know what I'm saying?

Eventually, like maybe every second month or so, you find such a terrifying tupps in the back and you are too frightened to open it. Because you fear if you do, the thing inside might just jump up and wave at you. And so, filled with guilt, you bypass all laws of recycling and conscience and economy, and you just sort of fling it into the trash. It's a small tupperware, you reassure yourself as the image of Al Gore on that scaffolding consulting the carbon chart hovers in your mind's eye. Bugger off, Al! I hardly ever do this! And you've got servants!

Enter shower caps. To clarify, I was remembering how my gran used to put these little shower cap dealios over bowls of leftover food. Literally they're just bits of elasticized plastic that you stretch over the top of a bowl. Then when it's time to clean out the fridge, you just pop off the shower cap, stick the bowl in the dishwasher, and all you have to clean is the cap. No ugly curry-stained tupps to detox. AND when you think about it, you're minimizing the number of dishes and lids you have to use, which is easier on you and the enviro. Because basically you're not decanting food from dish into tupperware, but rather, taking the original dish and covering it. As though with plastic wrap. Only the shower cap makes it easier because it's pre-sized to stretch and fit your bowl. And it's reusable. My gran used hers for, like, fifty years (no exaggeration) in true old-school thrifty style.

I mentioned all this to my aunt in South Africa and next thing you know I have some shower caps of my own (thanks, Nettie!). They fill me with joy. They take up very little room in my miniature kitchen, and they don't scare me when I open the fridge. Basically I'm here to tell you that life is worth living when you have shower caps for your kitchen. Ya know?

Because I am incredibly kind and selfless, I want to offer a lucky reader a freebie shower cap set. But I don't know how to find them in America. "Shower cap dish-covers" doesn't generate a good Google result. Anyone know where we can find some? I have yet to find a new favorite Dollar Store here in Crabcity, but I suspect when I do, I might get lucky.

On another note I worry that my freebie weekends have driven away loyal readers seeking content. Content is still here, friends. It's just masked by all the swag. But I still get a pithy weekly or twice weekly bit in. Like the piece about Mick Jagger. Or the one about Crabtot's greatest dream: to become a pregnant teenager. Or the one about Ikea. Hey, disgruntled readers, at least I don't have tip jar on my page. Yet.

Penultimately, to the readers who have written to ask me which Sweet Valley High novels I wrote, stay tuned. I will revisit my past life as a ghostwriter sometime in the next month. As well as revisit my other illustrious jobs: phone sex operator motivational speaker, crack peddler medical supplies salesperson, and so forth. Peeps, there are so many things you can do with an MFA in Writing from one of the finest institutions in America. And I have done most of them. So come back, and let me inspire you and yours!

Last, I think no mommy blog can be complete without the requisite photo of its author from the 1980s. I too am about to capitulate, breaking my self-imposed no-pix-of-self-or-tot rule. I always thought the writing should do the talking. But I never said I wasn't a hypocrite, and boy do I have a gem for you. I don't know when I will reveal myself, but be assured I will be sporting a most peculiar hairstyle and a school uniform that smacks of South Africa in all its forward-thinking, ideology-smashing history. Cool bananas!

Also, pretty please if you want more Crabmommery, stop by the bloglet: recent posts include ruminating on my permanent state of wishful thinking, gabbing about the magical properties of oil cloth(that's a very deep post), dissing consistency, and discussing why I refuse to eat dinner with my 3-yr-old (ooh! That one got the Yahoo moms [where bloglet also appears] mighty peppery!).