Thursday, September 25, 2008

Milking It: Manipulating Motherhood on Planet Palin

Seems quite a few women are incensed to see the "sexism" abounding on the net (and here at Crabmommy) when it comes to questioning Sarah Palin's ability to run the White House, should she be so required if McCain kicks the bucket or spontaneously combusts in a fit of his trademark ire.

Many of you agreed with me when I said--saucily, people, as is my wont--that anyone breastfeeding her babe shouldn't have a finger near the nuclear button; others found my post anti-feminist and offensive. I find it hilarious and stupid in equal measure that we are even having a conversation about empowered mothers, women's rights, and shattered glass ceilings when the person in question is totally against women's rights and reveals herself to be quite a questionable mother at best, not to mention a believer that the road to smart women begins with teaching Adam and Eve in school.

Some thoughts:

  • If Sarah Palin were a great VP candidate we would not be talking about motherhood.
  • If Sarah Palin were a great mother we would not be talking about motherhood in the White House because she would not be politicizing her children for her own ambitious ends.
  • If Sarah Palin's camp thinks it's unfair for her attackers to talk about her children and pontificate on her ability to simultaneously be a mother and a VP, then Sarah Palin's camp ought not talk about her newborn, nor parade her knocked-up child on stage for all the world to see in a grand fallacious gesture of "walking the talk" of family values.
The irony, the hypocrisy. It's so funny, it's turned me serious.

In spite of the Palin freak show we continue to engage in absurd conversations in which people say such things as "If Obama had a baby no one would ask him how he planned to juggle it" etc. etc. Similarly, several comments here and elsewhere suggest that if Obama had a young baby then we too should question him on how he would cope. Puh-lease.

Me, I don't ask the same questions of Obama or McCain because neither man has a babe attached to his bosom, nor does he traffic in talk about juggling breastpumps and Blackberrys and "soccer mom" hoo-ha. If either man were the primary caregiver of an infant I might idly question how that kid would get shafted (though it wouldn't play a role in my vote), but that's not the case here, is it?

This convo is so ridiculous in its bending-over-backwards attempts at political correctness. For one, Obama isn't grandstanding about family values while parading his pregnant teen onstage like a circus animal and speaking proudly about stepping up to grandparenthood. Nor would Obama in power ever do anything to reverse a woman's right to choose whether she wants a family at all. Obama is not a mom and he's not running as a Supermom while also attempting to stop moms from making their own decisions about family and career, so I'm not asking him to show me if he can handle being a mom and running the country at the same time.

As for Palin "walking the talk" let's hear some of the talk and then see if she's really "walking" it. On abortion: we all know Palin is pro-life, even if her own daughter were raped, (and on the subject of rape, as we now know Palin thinks raped women should pay for their own rape kits). As for the pro-life/pro-choice question, I believe we are meant to see Palin's Down's baby, the unfortunately named Trig, as the living example of Palin's truly "walking" her own talk. I dare say that's a major insult to anyone with a Down's child: comparing Palin's circumstance with Trig to one in which a person is raped and falls pregnant is offensive beyond all measure, yet that's what's actually between the lines if anyone considers Trig proof of Palin's "walking" her pro-life talk; i.e., that the decision to have her child proves her to be a woman willing to go all the way when it comes to her beliefs on life vs. choice.

I believe that everyone has the right to abort or keep any baby, healthy or not, but I don't believe that Ms. Palin's decision to have her Down's baby is something for which anyone should be congratulating her, much less a signifier of the beautiful courage of the pro-life position; Palin's decision to have her son is her personal choice in a personal and individual case, a case with far more opportunity for a mother's optimism than, say, the case in which a fetus has a disease or a congenital defect that would cause it unbearable suffering and/or certain death were it to be born. A Down's kid may have health complications, but there are, quite obviously, way worse diagnoses than that. And then there's rape, Ms. Palin.

To reiterate, babies are a matter of personal choice in my book--the mother's choice. That Ms. Palin *may* exhibit courage in the matter of choosing to have Trig is irrelevant to me and should be irrelevant in any political campaign. But it's not, for Palin and her team and supporters have mined and distorted this narrative of so-called personal courage in quite the twisted way, when you look at it closely. As for poor naughty knocked up and unfortunately named Bristol, again Palin is not walking her talk because it's not hers to walk: it's Bristol's, whether Mom wields the influence or not. And, to be blunt, this daughter cannot either be touted as an extension of Palin's particular pro-life position because this daughter has not been raped, though apparently if she had been, Mom would still push her to have that baby. Nice!

Whatever happens, America will get what America asks for. And so many Americans right now think Palin is, at the very least, is a woman we should all take great pains to view as capable of both motherhood and governance, because any other stance is sexist and backward and redolent of double standards! Slap on the wrist, Crabmommy, and anyone else who dares to suggest that her particular circumstances as a mother might cloud her ability to run the country.

To the various self-proclaimed feminists who have come over to this blog and declared me and my supporters to be sad disenfranchised victims of patriarchy: keep talking your PC talk and we may all soon become sad disenfranchised victims of GOP patriarchy, only this time disguised in a skirt.


Yet the tedious argument grinds along: whether we dig Palin's issues or not, we ought to respect her right to go for the VP role untainted by pesky sexist questions. After all, party affiliation aside, she's still a role model, right? She's still punching at that glass ceiling while pumping her boob with the other hand! She's still a woman with career and yet devoted to family, juggling furiously and getting it all done! And even if she does have some kinks as a mom, who are we to judge...right? I mean, it's not our business.

From a moral or political perspective I don't care if Palin is a bad mother, which I think she is. Being a bad or good mother or father is a non-issue for me among the issues I do care about when it comes to this vote because I don't particularly care about the candidates' children: I happen to believe the personal lives of politicians have nothing to do with me or my interests. (I also don't give a royal fig who the candidates sleep with; nor do I give a rat's bum whether they're cross-dressers or porno-watchers or wear purple drawstring pants in their spare time.)

I don't care if Palin's a bad mother, or a good mother. But I do care that a woman running as a mother and using her specific family circumstances to further her campaign is not allowed to be criticized as a mother. That's where the double standards come in. If you raise the subject of motherhood in your campaign, Palin, then so can we all. And for my money, you can be any sort of mother you like, just not in my White House (where all that late-night feeding might distract you).

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Auction Closing

Dear strangers, friends, frenemies, and family,

The auction benefit for Stephanie Nielson and Carol Decker has officially ended and I say a grand thank you to all of you who participated, from sponsors to bidders to winners. Hefty amounts were raised in this thing: over $1000! Way beyond my expectations. This is entirely thanks to my many generous and delightful sponsors of beauteous products, and to you, generous and delightful readers, who pushed the bidding high and made sure every item in here was bought to benefit Carol and Stephanie.

To the many vendors and readers who have contacted me offering donations of money and items: thank you. My auction is closed but if you click on the faces of Carol and Stephanie to the right you will be taken to websites full of info on how to help and containing updates on Carol and Stephanie's situations. The PayPal buttons below Carol's and Stephanie's pictures will also directly link you to their respective rehab funds, should you wish to make a cash donation.

Last, for all the many new readers who have come to me as a result of this auction. I feel the need to set the record straight: I am usually a very selfish, self-absorbed mom blogger who harnesses the power of negative thinking for her own petty laughs. In truth, I am not usually remotely inspiring and do not dispense nuggets of wisdom or joy. I do not believe in God and do not lead by example in any aspect of my life; the only thing I aspire to in this venue is to make fun of myself and others.

The auction benefit was a brief moment of respite for me from my usual self because we all need a break from ourselves. Carol's and Stephanie's stories moved me, obviously, and made me want to be other than my typical self. I am so glad I was able to use my blog for a higher purpose this week. But I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea: my lesser and unkinder self will be back in full force as of my next post, when I will return to bash Sarah Palin from here to way beyond the outer banks, where she belongs...and that post will be followed swiftly by cranky and trivial musings that may well offend those of more delicate and noble sensibilities. In short, the crabby mommy returns...

Thanks again to all of you who made this auction a success.

Sincerely,
Crabmommy

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Abracadabra...I give you magic pants!


Auction has ended. The winner is CAMI!
THIS IS THE LAST AUCTION ITEM! That's all, folks!

This one's
for Stephanie.
Skimbaco offers to you, my lovely bidders, these David corduroy pants for boys from Fable & Lore. Made of the softest cotton corduroy, they are straight leg cut, with one hidden pocket on the back, two in the front. And the magic part? There's a little attached coin pouch inside the left pocket filled with golden coins. The story behind it is a secret: the pants come with a little story book telling the adventures of Lore, an imaginary boy and the muse of talented designer behind Fable & Lore. Equally magical, perhaps, is that now your little David Blaine/David Copperfield might be less reluctant to wear fancy pants to that schmantzy function where cargoes won't cut it.

100% cotton; color: black. **Size 12 only (150cm).

Generously donated by Skimbaco.

Retail value: $70. Bidding starts at $15. Don't know how to bid? Check bidding rules. Scroll down for more live auctions! This is the last item of my auction.


Tiny Dancer!

AUCTION HAS ENDED. The winner is DOULAMOMMA. This one's for Carol.
And you thought the cuteness was over, didn't you, my mom-friends? Almost, but not quite. Today is the last day for new items going up for auction and Crabmommy's going out with a bang rather than a whisper. This print, graciously donated by Jenny of peekaboo prints, is so sweet I really can't think of anything saucy to say about it. Tiny dancer is an original 8 x 10 print drawn in ink and digitally colored. The print is on 8 x 11", 100% rag museum etching paper. Winner gets to customize her print
with skin color, hair color and/or child's name. How seriously, ridiculously cute is that?

Generously donated by peekaboo prints.

Retail value: $20. Bidding starts at $15.
Don't know how to bid? Check bidding rules. Scroll for more live auctions!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Halloween Craftacular!

AUCTION HAS ENDED. The winner is DOULAMOMMA. This one's for Stephanie.
Double-win in this auction. Crafter's take note! Up for grabs is one of Mabel's Labels' fantastic Crafter Packs, which includes 49 labels for the crafter who likes to know where her bobbins are. Labels are printed on red with white writing, and cover a range of supplies, from "adhesives" to "soap-making" to "stickers," "yarn," and "scrapbooking." More on the Crafter Labels here. Paired perfectly with these labels is a donation of delectable Halloween fabric from my lovely friend Dina over at Spiceberry Cottage, which is the all-time most delicious name for a store, I'm sure you'd agree. This stash consists of Sandy Gervais Pumpkins Gone Wild fabric squares. Not your average stack of pumpkins, these guys are adorned with dots, stripes, plaids, and are wearing hats and making faces behind our backs. The pack includes 45 5" fabric squares, 100% cotton. Each square is of a different print from this fabric collection. You can see everything you're getting here. So, crafty peeps, what will you make with these? An adorable patchwork costume for a scarecrow, perhaps? Or if you're an eco-mommy, dispense with all those pre-wrapped Halloween treats and bundle yours up in one of these fabric squares. Many spooktacular uses. I can't believe I just said "spooktacular," but I guess I did. Another word about Spiceberry Cottage: Dina has all sorts of fabulous fabrics, from the Heather Bailey stuff you crafters adore to Japanese vintage fabrics, Michael Miller etc. etc. She's a generous lady; please visit her lovely shop.

Generously donated by Mabel's Labels and Spiceberry Cottage.*

Retail value: $19.50. Bidding starts at $10. Don't know how to bid? Check bidding rules. Scroll for more live auctions! Fabulous artwork and nursing gear below. Yay!

Love That Preppy Boy! Fable & Lore shirt

AUCTION HAS ENDED. The winner is KIM. (Kim, I will be in touch.)
This one's
for Stephanie.
Skimbaco offers this preppy size 12 Fable & Lore button-up shirt for your delectation. How sweet is that boy? He looks as though he's weighing up the choice between Brown and Princeton. As though his name is Dexter. No staycation for him this year! Europe calls! Seriously stylish, our lad's plaid sports the colors of fall on a white background. 100% cotton and graciously donated by Skimbaco, the company responsible for Suri Cruise's little ladybug shoes. Check them out; they have loads of lovely gear.
*Generously donated by Skimbaco.*
Retail value: $45. Bidding starts at $10. Don't know how to bid? Check bidding rules. Scroll for more live auctions! Fabulous artwork below.

Behind Every Good Man is a Great Power Tie

AUCTION HAS ENDED. The winner is KAREN. (Karen, I will be in touch.) This one's for Carol.
"Behind Every Good Man is a Great Power Tie" is the title of this hilarious watercolor print, graciously donated by my good friend Ashley from her etsylicious store. This is a 5x6 inch watercolor in a black 11x14 frame. The piece really cracks me up! The artist says it's her commentary on being a Stay At Home Mother/Navy wife. It's been a fair while since Crabmommy dug deeply into the interpretation of fine art, but I'm going to give it a go. The irony called up by the title is neatly illustrated by the man in his power tie, dominating the foreground, while in the background, his hunched-over wife sorts through the dresser drawers, showing who's really behind the man's success. The punch line here obviously derives from the twist on the phrase "Behind every good/great man there's a good/great woman," itself a commentary on the power dynamics inherent in male-female partnerships. Evidently the wife here is really the powerhouse of the duo: the guy can't even get dressed without his wife's help, and probably she chose the dang tie too...that said, she looks pretty beaten down by the sheer drudgery of it all, poor girl, and could use a large martini or an affair with Javier Bardem. So much for power! And then there is the tie itself: that bright red focal point of the picture. It spells out something we all know to be true in various forms: that appearances are all-powerful, though they may also be deceiving. Whooo...Crabmommy goes deep! And maybe the most salient and thought-provoking observation I can make is that I think the artist has an IKEA Malm series bureau like me! Okay, so my prattle may be so much hoo-ha, but the fact is this piece makes me talk and think a lot, and good art should. And now my head hurts. And yours does too.

I'd like to add that Ashley is another of my chums from Offsprung, the website for parents who are not completely boring. Thanks Offsprungers who have so kindly donated to this auction.

*Generously donated by Ashley of babywalls.

Retail value: $75. Bidding starts at $15. Don't know how to bid? Check bidding rules. Scroll for more live auctions! Fabulous artwork and nursing gear below. Yay!

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